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steampunk

November 2009

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steampunk

A Children's Story About a Pirate

Once upon a time, there was an airship pirate named Dr. Jonas Mortimer Renfield.
He was an angry gentleman who smoked a pipe.


When he wasn't pillaging ships or taking captives and forcing them to dance the electric slide, he sat around contemplating life.


One day, while shooting at tiny air-krakens that seemed to infest his ship, he realized something. "Maybe," he said, "the life of an airship pirate is not the life for me. Perhaps, I should be a hatmaker! That's it! Habedashery! A nice safe, sane business."


So he did. He became a habedasher. And after one week, he went insane. He let his hair go down. He drank tea.


This was not good. His crew found him and gave him a bottle of solution to restore his mind. He drank away fiercely.


And before they knew it, they had their regular, sane captain back.


In his week of habedashey, he discovered a method of time traveling. He decided to build a Chronos Inflexus.


So he did, but due to a lack of a neo-shoopy engine, it wouldn't function correctly. "By jove, I have an idea!" he proclaimed.


It worked! Even though he lacked a neo-shoopy engine, he still somehow made it to the future. And there he resides, blending in with the commonfolk and chatting on the etherwebs.



The end.
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Comments

amazingness

that was awesome.

really













yus